I'm spending way to much time beating myself up these days. With my grandma in the hospital my time and energy supply are way down. I'm not even able to keep up with all the everyday business of the household like dusting, dishes and laundry. I'm doing things as are necessary but never really on top of it.Hanging heavily above my head is finishing up the moving business. Our vehicles need safety inspections, emissions inspections, new registrations, license plates and I need a new driver's license. All of this takes time and money. Both of which are in short supply. Moving to another state is a real hassle and I will do everything I can to NEVER do it again!!! This is my 4th state in 6 years and at this point I feel like we have thrown away a bunch of money just getting new plates and stuff for our vehicles.
Anyway, all of this stuff was supposed to be done this week, which simply won't happen. I'm harboring so much guilt about not being on top of things right now. My husband seems to have gotten temporary amnesia about the physical barriers I face everyday. When he started his new job he basically forgot about everything else that needed to be done - assuming I would just do everything - forgetting that I can't. I told him I need help and he told me that he works all day, I should just handle it since I have "all day" to get this stuff done. He might as well be calling me lazy.
I'm not quite sure how he could have forgotten about my health but it is really making me mad. I don't like having to explain to my husband what my days are like, as if I were explaining it to someone who didn't really know me. This tension is feeding my natural tendency to feel guilty about what I can't do and to beat myself up much more than usual. This nasty side of myself keeps telling me that there is no good reason I can't get everything done with time to spare. But it's not done. Bad Migrainista!
